My “Woman Fast” – Day 25 – Breaking Patterns

I went dancing a few days ago and quickly found myself surrounded by painfully hot hot hot ladies dressed in … let’s say, enterprising ways … specifically designed to arrest my attention like it was a fugitive from the law. Then today, I ate lunch with 3 beautiful, amazing women.

Did I mention I’m on a 30-day “Woman Fast”??

One of my lovely lunch mates, after learning that I recently fasted from sugar for 30 days, suggested I must enjoy fasting.

My Lunch Mates Today

My Lovely Lunch Mates (not Dates) Today

Truth is, I don’t like fasting. Not at all.

I do, however, love breaking unhealthy patterns, also known as addictions.

Fasting is a powerful way to break patterns. In 12-step programs, it’s the only way. Of course, I don’t want to rid my life of seductive female interactions forever … haaayyyyell no!!

No, this 30-day “woman fast” is about breaking various behavior patterns I have of interacting with women from a place of lack and need. (cynics: it really isn’t just about sex.)

I have spent too much time engaging attractive women with the primary intention of filling some apparent, aching void inside me. That’s an addictive behavior I am finally exhausted by and ready to transform. Thus, the 30-day fast.

People ask me what I’m going to do on Day 31. The corny joke is usually something like, “Orgy at my house!! … Who’s coming? I know I am!”

But honestly, on Day 31 of my sugar fast, I did NOT run to Dunkin’ Donuts and shove handfuls of powdery sweet donuts into my body. Absolutely not. Since that fast, I have a much healthier relationship with sugar. I still eat occasional chocolate chip cookies, but I don’t buy them as often as I used to. I no longer put honey in my teas. I don’t eat desserts everyday anymore. Sugar is now maybe 1% of my diet instead of the 20% it probably was before I broke that pattern with fasting.

I expect new patterns to emerge after this fast, as well.

I am fortunate to have a lot of amazing lady friends, and some of them straight-up, drop-dead gooooorgeous. I was silently laughing at myself today, sitting beside these 3 lovely ladies, as I thought, “Man, do I know how to woman-fast!!!

The thing is, I thoroughly enjoy people. I love laughter. I love being playful. I love making jokes and teasing and provoking for the sake of simply enjoying every moment. I’m allowing myself to do those things during this time.

Turning myself into a cold, unfeeling robot who refuses hugs and ignores women altogether for 30 days just strikes me as stupid. Anyway, I have 3 sisters and 2 mothers. I’m not going to pretend women don’t exist for a month.

I know where my boundaries are. I know when I’m about to linger a moment too long in the produce section or seductively eye a woman across a crowded room, desiring to draw her in. I know when I’m foraging for a woman’s flattery to ease my phantom pains. Life subtly tighten up on me, and the moment becomes lightly scented with a pungent hint of desperation.

This fast is about progress, not perfection.

It’s about breaking a pattern I don’t want anymore.

On Day 31, there’ll almost certainly be no orgy (I’m not really an “orgy-guy” anyway). I expect there will just be me, connected deeper to the power of choice; knowing I can linger if I want to, but feeling just as comfortable to head to the register and take my groceries home.

And you know what? … If I ever do choose to linger a bit longer in the produce section with that comfort coursing through my veins, I bet I’ll actually say something meaningful to her for once. … THAT would be breaking a ridiculous pattern!!


PICTURE BELOW: This portrays what I felt like recently surrounded by all those crazy hot sexy dancers.

sexy dancers

A former US Air Force Captain, Bryan Reeves has survived multiple dark nights of the soul and done really stupid things with women that he deeply regrets and has learned a great deal from. Bryan is now a Life Coach & Relationship Coach for men, women, and couples, and is the author of the viral blog, "Choose Her Every Day (or Leave Her)," at

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Posted in Permission, Self-Discovery, Sexuality
6 comments on “My “Woman Fast” – Day 25 – Breaking Patterns
  1. Innermost Reality says:

    Funny reading this after I just wrote about “testosterone loaded bundles that are ready to pounce on me” lol
    Also well done for curing your sugar cravings! Have done this too 🙂
    (if you are interested you can read it on my other blog Really not trying to spam! 😉

  2. […] every hot chick I see and it feels great that I don’t have to do anything about it.” During Week 4, I was in the groove. I started feeling really powerful and calm, standing strong in my world, not […]

  3. Shanil says:

    It may be that the fast has a way of making you feel less powerless. The addiction – sense of being less than or not worthy for such a lovely woman (ok, my story) fades away with the fasting. The sickness/obsession of the mind – being in that ‘bubble’ of toxic thinking is hard to shed.
    It’s not the woman’s fault she’s hot but our view that she can make us whole and the actions that follow usually (my case) have been self-inflicted punishments.

    Great share – thank you. I’ve really being inspired by your blog.

    • Bryan Reeves says:

      Hi Shanil … yes, you’re absolutely right. Fasting definitely gave me a certain sense of power back. I agree with everything you write … that’s my experience, as well. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Bryan

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