I went dancing a few days ago and quickly found myself surrounded by painfully hot hot hot ladies dressed in … let’s say, enterprising ways … specifically designed to arrest my attention like it was a fugitive from the law. Then today, I ate lunch with 3 beautiful, amazing women.
Did I mention I’m on a 30-day “Woman Fast”??
One of my lovely lunch mates, after learning that I recently fasted from sugar for 30 days, suggested I must enjoy fasting.
Truth is, I don’t like fasting. Not at all.
I do, however, love breaking unhealthy patterns, also known as addictions.
Fasting is a powerful way to break patterns. In 12-step programs, it’s the only way. Of course, I don’t want to rid my life of seductive female interactions forever … haaayyyyell no!!
No, this 30-day “woman fast” is about breaking various behavior patterns I have of interacting with women from a place of lack and need. (cynics: it really isn’t just about sex.)
I have spent too much time engaging attractive women with the primary intention of filling some apparent, aching void inside me. That’s an addictive behavior I am finally exhausted by and ready to transform. Thus, the 30-day fast.
People ask me what I’m going to do on Day 31. The corny joke is usually something like, “Orgy at my house!! … Who’s coming? I know I am!”
But honestly, on Day 31 of my sugar fast, I did NOT run to Dunkin’ Donuts and shove handfuls of powdery sweet donuts into my body. Absolutely not. Since that fast, I have a much healthier relationship with sugar. I still eat occasional chocolate chip cookies, but I don’t buy them as often as I used to. I no longer put honey in my teas. I don’t eat desserts everyday anymore. Sugar is now maybe 1% of my diet instead of the 20% it probably was before I broke that pattern with fasting.
I expect new patterns to emerge after this fast, as well.
I am fortunate to have a lot of amazing lady friends, and some of them straight-up, drop-dead gooooorgeous. I was silently laughing at myself today, sitting beside these 3 lovely ladies, as I thought, “Man, do I know how to woman-fast!!!”
The thing is, I thoroughly enjoy people. I love laughter. I love being playful. I love making jokes and teasing and provoking for the sake of simply enjoying every moment. I’m allowing myself to do those things during this time.
Turning myself into a cold, unfeeling robot who refuses hugs and ignores women altogether for 30 days just strikes me as stupid. Anyway, I have 3 sisters and 2 mothers. I’m not going to pretend women don’t exist for a month.
I know where my boundaries are. I know when I’m about to linger a moment too long in the produce section or seductively eye a woman across a crowded room, desiring to draw her in. I know when I’m foraging for a woman’s flattery to ease my phantom pains. Life subtly tighten up on me, and the moment becomes lightly scented with a pungent hint of desperation.
This fast is about progress, not perfection.
It’s about breaking a pattern I don’t want anymore.
On Day 31, there’ll almost certainly be no orgy (I’m not really an “orgy-guy” anyway). I expect there will just be me, connected deeper to the power of choice; knowing I can linger if I want to, but feeling just as comfortable to head to the register and take my groceries home.
And you know what? … If I ever do choose to linger a bit longer in the produce section with that comfort coursing through my veins, I bet I’ll actually say something meaningful to her for once. … THAT would be breaking a ridiculous pattern!!
PICTURE BELOW: This portrays what I felt like recently surrounded by all those crazy hot sexy dancers.