The Sexiest 3 Words a Man Can Say to a Woman

sexiest 3 words a man can say photo by Sean Mcgrath

“I love you.” (nope)

“You look beautiful.” (nope)

“Let’s go shopping!” (depends how you say it, but still, no)

“How’s your mother?” (no, this will just make her suspicious of you)

Those are all nice to say, and many women want to hear them from their partner; they like to feel cherished. But none of those by themselves will necessarily have her soften all warm-putty-like into your hairy masculine arms.

The three sexiest words I’m referring to speak to primal forces within both men and women. An archetypal trip wire, these eight letters strung together can trigger a man’s spine to straighten and make a woman swoon.

I wish I could say I figured this one out by myself, but a lady friend had to point this out. Once she did, I looked back to my own intimate relationships and saw overwhelming evidence for her case everywhere.

We were having coffee when she started telling me about her new boyfriend. He was refined and kind, loving and intelligent. He was a creative artist, and an accomplished one at that. She felt him a good man and she was happy. Then she told me about the first morning they woke up together, and that’s when she really lit up during our conversation.

She has a dog. Normally the dog gets her up early to go pee outside when she’s still in comatose denial of an outside world. On this particular morning, when the dog woke her up as usual, her new beau opened his eyes, looked at her and with nary a hesitation, issued the most magical three-word spell she could recall ever hearing from a man. She said these words slid from his masculine mouth smooth as a river stone and strong as steel (that’s my interpretation of what she said). She swooned. She relaxed. Under his sudden spell she felt herself completely protected and cherished by this man’s love.

“I got this.”

That’s what he said.

“I’m going to take on this uncomfortable mission-oriented task because that’s how I can best offer my masculine gift right now while honoring your delicious gift of feminine energy to my life. I will demonstrate my deep commitment to your care by ensuring you can stay warm under the covers and linger in this moment of blissful embodied reverie.”

He actually only said the first three words. That whole second paragraph is my rough translation as I believe my friend heard it.

But first he said it. And then he actually did it.

She was so impressed you’d think he bought her the Eiffel Tower. All he did was walk her dog.

♦◊♦

We live in an age when women are empowered to care for themselves like never before.

strongwoman

I grew up mostly thinking women were supposed to “I got this” for themselves. My two moms held strong while my two dads struggled to just hold on. It was my two moms whose strength and character were always saying, “I got this,” while my dads were unconsciously saying, “thank God you got this!”

I’ve always had so many messages coming at me that women are my equals in every way. That’s a good thing from a certain perspective. Women are equal to men, in terms of inherent human worth and value. They should have every legal right that any man has.

However, my understanding of sex equality completely overlooked certain ways my more feminine female partners and I were genuinely different. We yearned differently, meaning we experienced the world in rather different ways, even wanting different things from each other. For example, just holding a woman and making love with her is often a different experience for me than it is for my partners.

I don’t embrace a woman to feel safe in her arms. When I embrace her I feel strong in my body, masterful even, as though I’m living my purpose by wrapping her up safe and protected within my steady arms. My female partners, in contrast, have often expressed that’s what they love most about being in my embrace: the experience of feeling safe, physically and emotionally, that they can relax in knowing they’re protected in that one moment from the tiresome chaos of the world. It’s as if we both journeyed from very different worlds to secretly rendezvous in this one moment of exquisite embrace.

Failing too often to account for such differences, I have struggled in most of my intimate relationships with women. Clearly a contributing factor has been my inability to step up in all kinds of situations and say to my partners—often even to myself—“I got this.”

♦◊♦

Before I wade too deep into controversial waters, let me clarify that what I’m exploring is less about man-woman and more about masculine-feminine. Any foray into masculine-feminine dynamics risks offending those who hear those terms being used synonymously. I don’t mean to do that. What I’m pointing at holds for all couples—hetero, gay, or otherwise—in which one partner carries more masculine energy and the other carries more feminine. Sometimes those energies can switch back and forth between partners. I invite you to see through to the deeper rhythms I’m exploring, beyond the details of who has what body parts.

I simply want to convey that when I look back through my life, I see far too often that I left my feminine partners to fend for themselves in ways large and small. From making them decide where we should eat to running away when they were stressed emotionally and I hadn’t the capacity to love them through it, I failed too often to step up and say, “I got this.”

Which just means I consistently failed to convey, “Baby, I invite you to relax and trust that all will be well because I have the strength, the discipline, the fortitude and the vision—and at the very least the unwavering perseverance—to hold us through this moment of discomfort and steward us safely to new ground where we will experience a brighter moment of ease together.

Ok, so that’s a bit poetic when we’re talking about walking the dog or deciding where to eat. And sometimes our partners will genuinely want to bear their own burdens, or bear them equally alongside us, or even bear ours for us. I’m painting in broad strokes here.

♦◊♦

There’s something deeply compelling about the idea of being with a woman who can fully take care of herself, and who enjoys allowing me take care of her anyway.

I invite you to say to yourself a few times: “I got this.

How does that feel in your body?

Do you feel your chest rise a bit, your breathing deepen, your backbone straighten? Do you come alive and start looking around the room for some challenge to take on?
Or do you prefer imagining someone say it to you? Does the thought of your partner whispering it to you all sexy-like make your body soften and your heartbeat quicken? Does it set your yearning alight?

Truth is, I’ve always wanted a woman who can take care of herself. Which seems healthy to me, actually. Any mature adult should be able to take care of themselves in the modern world. I don’t want a partner who expects me to run around all day telling her “I got this” so she can stay in bed all day. That would just be exhausting for me and eventually frustrating for her. I’m not Superman. She’s not helpless.

Still, there’s something deeply compelling about the idea of being with a woman who can fully take care of herself, and who enjoys allowing me to take care of her anyway.

“I got this.”

father-holding-his-newborn-baby-pavlo-kolotenko

photo: pavlo kolotenko

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— This article was recently featured on Good Men Project

A former US Air Force Captain, Bryan Reeves has survived multiple dark nights of the soul and done really stupid things with women that he deeply regrets and has learned a great deal from. Bryan is now a Life Coach & Relationship Coach for men, women, and couples, and is the author of the viral blog, "Choose Her Every Day (or Leave Her)," at www.bryanreeves.com.

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Posted in Conscious Relationships, Love, Mature Masculinity, Relationships, Take Action
72 comments on “The Sexiest 3 Words a Man Can Say to a Woman
  1. […] —This post appeared on ThisWildWakingJourney […]

    • jadecary says:

      Thank you so much, especially for this: There’s something deeply compelling about the idea of being with a woman who can fully take care of herself, and who enjoys allowing me take care of her anyway.

      I have been married for almost 29 years, and it was this epiphany that put us into another stratosphere with our relationship. The moment I let go and let him be ‘the man’ everything changed. Cherish is not a word I use lightly, but that is what I became and what I am now. I wish every man had the courage to ‘get this’ and every woman the confidence to allow it.

      Great article, Bryan. Thanks again.

    • I find this article to be blatantly sexist. It assumes stereotypical gender roles that just don’t account for the diversity of basic human personalities. For example, in my relationship, my partner – the woman – is usually the one who initiates things, whereas I’m good at follow-through. We don’t see those as masculine and feminine roles, but rather just Quinn and Tobin roles. I’d love this article if it was reframed as, “The Sexiest 3 Words One Person Can Say to Another Person” and you got rid of all of the shallow and unsubstantiated generalizations about “men” and “women.”

      • Bryan Reeves says:

        Thanks for your input … I agree to some extent. Sure there are all kinds of relationships, and I accounted for that IN the article.

        First though, it’s likely that no one would read an article with the title you suggested. Second (and this relates to the first), we are a species of men and women, and we’re not taught well how to relate to each other. I can’t possibly account for every life scenario in a short blog. I’m pointing at something fundamental to the masculine-feminine dance that is clearly resonating with people all over the world right now. So there is clearly something to this. You’re reacting strongly to the presupposition that I’m making this about man-woman, and again I specifically call out in the article that I’m NOT doing that.

        I think what you mean is, “I don’t see those as MAN and WOMAN roles” … in which case, I’d agree with you. Our feminine essence (in women OR men) is not programmed to run around handling everything. That’s what our masculine essence (in women OR men) does. And when people who are predominantly disoriented around their strong masculine essence (which happens to be mostly, though not exclusively men) there are painful consequences. That’s all I’m saying.

      • Julie says:

        I totally agree with Bryan on this one. He took quite a bit of space in the article addressing this concern and I believe we can now move past the knee-jerk response of whistle-blowing a potentially “sexist” remark for simply mentioning gender roles. (Gender and sex are not the same thing). The point of the article is valid and reminds me of one of Gary Chapman’s five love languages – Acts of Service. So often empty words or good intentions replace action, and in a world that has become all too frequently “every man for himself,” saying “I got this” is pure poetry. Thanks Bryan!

    • I was about to write something similar on my blog today and came across yours as shared on the baisers live FB page, via the goodman project page. I felt compelled to follow the credit line. And I am so glad for coming across it. Thank you so much for sharing. I appreciate this and you for doing so.
      And yes though I am a professional, own my own home, have everything I worked for and wanted, when I date, it is for te so,e reason if finding a man who says and meet this very line “I got this”. Translation: “baby I got you.” I can then close my eyes and let go cause I know he got me indeed. Beautiful piece! Thank you!!

    • Hans Bruz says:

      Totally!!! Epic post bro. Love it. Agreed! Cheehooo!!!

    • Nives Osvald says:

      can i marry you? XD well written and totally agree with you!

    • Drew Draskil says:

      This is what happens when someone who has no credentials in psychology, relationship therapy, gender studies, anatomy, and recent developments in human biology tries to write an article involving those subjects.

      • Bryan Reeves says:

        I have a Masters Degree in Human Relations from University of Oklahoma. Does that count?

      • Cheryl says:

        Drew, his Masters in Human Relations does sound like an appropriate credential and I suspect the kind of “official” credential you were referring to. However, I’ve known people with big credentials who are clueless and street people who are lucid and profound. Studies and degrees don’t guarantee an understanding of anything. Humility is often the gateway to truth.

    • dinaclare says:

      This transcends gender.

      My wife and I say these words to each other all the time. It’s not about the big strong man coming in to care for the delicate woman. Neither of us is either of those things. (She’s a woman of formidable strength, and I am a genderqueer person who needs more help than I’m altogether comfortable with.)

      It’s about mutual care and respect for each other. It’s about holding your nose and doing an unpalatable task because you know it will make your partner happy. It’s about caring for someone when they’re ill or tired. It’s about honoring your vows to your spouse – to stick together through everything, to support each other, to help each other be the best people you can be.

      This isn’t gendered at all.

  2. Stasia Bliss says:

    I LOVE this article Bryan. Absolutely perfectly stated. I love being able to fend for myself and take on life, but YES – indeed and without a doubt it is a major and ultimately beautiful offering of love when my partner let’s me know “he’s got this”….truly, I find myself able to sink back into the still of womanhood that is internal, intuitive and silent…and let the world “take care of itself” for a while…thanks to one amazing man. That is the biggest gift in the world. Bigger than flowers, gifts, I love you’s, date-night – anything. It is true honoring and care of the female nature. And it also says “I see all you do…and in this moment, rest. Thank you”….. Bless you Brother. Keep on Keeping on. I LOVE your posts.

    • Bryan Reeves says:

      Hi Stasia! Beautifully articulated. Thank you for taking a moment to share your experience with your partner. Sending you a big hug in Oregon from a few miles down south … Bryan

  3. I love how social media and the online world work – very happy that somehow your blog post was put in my path today. This is a BEAUTIFUL post and truly advocates for the partnership we all desire. Like Stasia said, I am also a very independent woman, but I love that my husband is masculine and will take care of and provide for this family. When he ‘has it’, I know that I don’t have to worry about it. That’s amazing.

    I’m a former Navy LT – love to meet fellow vets in this line of work. Thanks for your service friend 🙂

  4. Scott says:

    Wonderful article. My wife struggles with early mornings so when our son Marco started kindergarten I made sure that he was at school on time. With his hair styled, his teeth brushed, his clothes cleaned and a full belly. In essence… showing her “I Got This”

  5. Sav says:

    So at the end of the day they just want the money and to be taken cared of, women’s sufferage must have been a big waste of time. All that equality they fought for and still men have to be pressured to be the main provider! Times haves changed and women control the work force now how about WE GOT THIS

  6. jencolina says:

    Thank you for articulating what I have so often felt! As a single mom who always has to be the one to *I got this*, I really love and appreciate when it doesn’t have to be that way. Btw, you are an excellent writer 🙂

  7. mmmmmmmm. yum, that really is the three most wonderful words to hear. it invites me to relax and breathe, secure and held. can’t wait ….to have a man who can meet you in your independence yet still show up and ensure you have the space to relax into “woman.”….

  8. JoanOfArgghh says:

    An excellent exhortation, and aptly distributed amid the minefields of today’s warring factions of sexual identity. Thank you for making it about humanness.

    I’ve never understood, from any side of the relationship equation, why we would go through the pains of lifelong commitment only to thirst for failure from our partner. Any tool, thought, adjustment, inconvenience to help our mate be OUR mate is worth its weight in golden returns on the investment. From the womanly side, can’t we help a guy out, throw him a big hint? Or just be forthright in our expectations? Besides, we can as creatively arrange circumstances as we can flowers. Get some things to come out your way and let him believe it was his idea. (And when he figures it out one day? That’s some huge delight right there!).

  9. Kelly says:

    I have been saying “I got this” since I was 15. I would love to hear a man say it to me for a change!

  10. Jp says:

    Wow! these are the runner ups as the the three sexiest words that a man can say to a woman.

    “I love you.”

    “You look beautiful.”

    “Let’s go shopping!”

    “How’s your mother?”

    May no good man utter this sexist filth again.

  11. Julia Nigro says:

    Hats off to you Bryan! I’m 39 and am for the first time experiencing this surrender of which I hear you speak. It feels wonderful as a woman to trust, believe, and ALLOW a man to take that masculine role and let him feel that chest puff! Thank you for your eloquent depiction of the feminine – masculine dynamic.

  12. Great job Bryan – I’m a dating coach and writer, and I was a bit skeptical when I started reading – but you’ve totally convinced me. “I got this” actually translates more than just “I love you!”

    • ButterKate says:

      “Not only do I love you, I’m going to back that up with action to tell you I really mean it. ” That’s something that rings authentic and credible to me.

  13. […] —This post appeared on ThisWildWakingJourney […]

  14. Shari says:

    You hit the motherlode of truth here, Bryan: The 3 words are RIGHT ON, as are your poetic extrapolations (yum, by the way). As a highly educated, career-driven woman, I was always the one saying “i got this.” Not till age 50 — in a new relationship with an equal — did I ever allow myself to soften enough to allow someone else to “get this.” My new husband and I take turns “getting it,” as that is in both of our natures. But YES there is something intrinsic in the feminine ease and peace that comes when HE says, “I got it.”

    It’s a still new and ongoing journey to explore my feminine side. Thanks for giving voice to this insight; it’s useful for men and women’s self-awareness. Wonderful!

  15. Vishwajeet says:

    “I got this” translates to “I care for you”, “I’ll handle whatever it takes to care & protect you” and “I love you”…all in same 3 word combination.

  16. Yes, yes, yes. I’m a single mother of 4 and a very busy middle school teacher. I’ve got my shit together which seems to intimidate most men. I’m fully capable of handling my life myself yet I do long for someone who will step up, stand up and say “I got this.” I don’t know how long it will take but I’m absolutely certain it will be worth the wait.

    • John Bray says:

      Dear Sarah, I can promise you it will be worth the wait. When I met my wife, she was a single mother of 3 in a high pressured (male dominated) career and the fact that she “had her shit together” certainly intimidated a lot of men. I however, found that it was part of the overall qualities which I found attractive in her. We are now a very happy team with four kids. Why am I writing this to you? Well, I read this article, posted on a friend’s FB page and it nearly knocked me over. The very fact that I know she is more than capable of handling life, has meant that probably too often I’ve sat back and let her make the steering decisions, justifying it to myself with “yeah, well she’s so damn good at this stuff”. Having read through this article though, I’m off to dig out my “I got this” card and use it just a little more often.
      Your post, really resonated with who my Sarah is….. And who I should always strive to be to deserve her. I wish you all the very best in your quest. Keep kissing frogs…. Some of us are out there waiting for the right Princess to come along……!

  17. Jeanie says:

    YES!! The sexiest thing ever!
    Now if to find a way to distribute this to every man in the world… The ones that do it (to express appreciation and validation) and the ones that don’t (to include them in the former group.)😉

  18. K says:

    Maybe I’m the weird one here but those three words would not be sexy to me in the slightest. More like: “I believe in you.” “I’ll help you.” “I respect you.” A man who automatically assumes that I will appreciate his help and doesn’t ask me if it’s ok first would raise a million red flags and I would probably hit the ground running. Offering to help is different from just deciding you’re going to do something for me. Not cool.

    I appreciate the sentiment in this, but it weirdly glorifies women (or, femininity) in a way, which…kind of reverts back to objectifying. There’s no magical phrase that “all women” need or want to hear, because, you know, we’re people and not robots. I feel safe in my man’s arms because he is my best friend, not because he is a manly man full of masculinity. Similarly, I would like to be helped because I asked for help and not because he assumed I’m exhausted from living my life as a female.

    I’m glad that YOU enjoy taking care of women who don’t need your help. And I think there are many women who will love you for that, too. That’s great. But that’s not a trademark of women, and that is your special case. I love men who DON’T do that. Go figure. It’s like women have different preferences or something.

    • Bryan Reeves says:

      I think you’re being triggered by something I’m not saying. Nowhere in here do I say a woman MUST let a guy handle things for her. Nowhere. I also don’t say you’re exhausted living as a female. Nope.

      I said in the article that I’m pointing to deeper rhythms here that are beyond what body part you have. Seems like you have more masculine energy in you than a lot of other women. That’s perfectly fine. Masculine-feminine is NOT a man-woman / penis-vagina thing. If you genuinely feel great holding an “I got this” orientation in your life, with your partner … awesome. Your partner can be more relaxed and enjoy his own feminine essence more. Nothing wrong with that at all.

  19. Shannon Born says:

    What a great essay…. you are spot on!
    I am a highly educated, independent woman with all the responsibilities that go along with being educated and self-determined/self-reliant, but hearing someone to say, “I got this” (especially when it’s in actions) makes be feel safe, comforted and cared for. We all need that and that need does not replace any sense of equality; it merely adds to our humanity, or need for connection.

  20. Reblogged this on Life between the lines and commented:
    By far, the most orgasmic Saturday morning of my life. Finally a man who totally gets it. Do read the entire blog, you sure will learn or concur: https://thiswildwakingjourney.wordpress.com/2014/10/27/the-sexiest-3-words-a-man-can-say-to-a-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-1345

    Best way a man can spell love to ME.

    “I’ve always had so many messages coming at me that women are my equals in every way. That’s a good thing from a certain perspective. Women are equal to men, in terms of inherent human worth and value. They should have every legal right that any man has.

    However, my understanding of sex equality completely overlooked certain ways my more feminine female partners and I were genuinely different. We yearned differently, meaning we experienced the world in rather different ways, even wanting different things from each other. For example, just holding a woman and making love with her is often a different experience for me than it is for my partners.

    I don’t embrace a woman to feel safe in her arms. When I embrace her I feel strong in my body, masterful even, as though I’m living my purpose by wrapping her up safe and protected within my steady arms. My female partners, in contrast, have often expressed that’s what they love most about being in my embrace: the experience of feeling safe, physically and emotionally, that they can relax in knowing they’re protected in that one moment from the tiresome chaos of the world. It’s as if we both journeyed from very different worlds to secretly rendezvous in this one moment of exquisite embrace.

    Failing too often to account for such differences, I have struggled in most of my intimate relationships with women. Clearly a contributing factor has been my inability to step up in all kinds of situations and say to my partners—often even to myself—“I got this.”

  21. […] By far, the most orgasmic Saturday morning of my life. Finally a man who totally gets it. Do read the entire blog, you sure will learn or concur: https://thiswildwakingjourney.wordpress.com/2014/10/27/the-sexiest-3-words-a-man-can-say-to-a-woman/c… […]

  22. […] are notes at the end of the piece that say the article appeared on This Wild Waking Journey but I found it on The Good Men Project site which certainly sounds like a noble […]

  23. Michael says:

    The problem with men is there more cowardly than ever we as man should never have even let woman take it this far where they feel the need to have to be so independent . We as men have a responsibility to take care of our woman financially , emotionally and to die protecting them if necessary as is the woman’s job is to take care of our home, cooking, cleaning which is no easy task. The majority of men these day’s are a joke they beat woman they verbally attack them and then expect them to pay the bills and support them its pathetic so to you guys who know who you are treat your woman with respect cause your no man at all your the dirt under my shoe man up and be a man .

    • Janelle says:

      “We as men have a responsibility to take care of our woman financially , emotionally and to die protecting them if necessary as is the woman’s job is to take care of our home, cooking, cleaning which is no easy task.”

      Are you freaking kidding me??

  24. I agree that we’re out of whack and don’t honor the masculine and the feminine. So often they are reduced to gender roles. I can honor the mystery of the feminine, but what I’ve found lacking is some kind of reciprocation: can she honor the certainty of the masculine? Being fully present for your partner is a two way street.

  25. Thank you for spending your time to share a powerful message that did indeed straighten my spine, and strengthen my resolve.

    I live and breath through a woman’s body but think and act and feel like a man….always have.

    I am 46 years old and have finally figured out “who” the hell I am this past year. I have been reading and lurking on The Good Men Project and found your article there. Thank you for speaking to me….a man, that everyone, but my soon-to-be wife, thinks of me as a woman. I appreciate your use and clarification by using feminine/masculine as markers.

    I am fortified and strengthened today.

    I got this!

    Best,
    Jack

  26. Ken Wu says:

    For a while, my relationship with my wife was “I got this.” Later, it became “we got this.” Now, it’s “will you get this?” Haha

    Great article though!

  27. BeaC says:

    As a now single, professional woman still raising 3 kids, after 18 years married to a man who was happy to always let me be the one that “got it”, I find that this idea is novel but it resonates. With a few dates under my belt, and the occasional “I got this” moment with them, I have found that it does indeed fill a part of the relationship dance that had been missing previously. I am looking forward to a long-term partnership where we each allow the other to be the “got it” man in equal measure.

  28. So to identify with being masculine is to identify with the role of provider/protector? Sounds like opinions based upon outdated culturally reinforced notions that are rapidly falling out of favor.

    • Bryan Reeves says:

      it’s not if you want to “identify” with being masculine. If you want to attract feminine energy (whether in a man or a woman), then stepping up and saying “I got this” is a powerful way to do that. If you don’t want to attract feminine energy, then don’t do that. Let your partner completely take care of him/herself, and you can just be two people who aren’t deeply attracted to each other or you can play the more feminine role. Nothing wrong with either way you choose to go.

  29. KLC says:

    Tobin Rangdrol,
    Please do your self the good service of reading this very eloquent article again. It seems to me that the “sexest view” you are interpreting is a mistake and you would owe Mr. Reeves and apology. the article clearly shows that this is NOT sexest at all in the following copied paragraph: “Before I wade too deep into controversial waters, let me clarify that what I’m exploring is less about man-woman and more about masculine-feminine. Any foray into masculine-feminine dynamics risks offending those who hear those terms being used synonymously. I don’t mean to do that. What I’m pointing at holds for all couples—hetero, gay, or otherwise—in which one partner carries more masculine energy and the other carries more feminine. Sometimes those energies can switch back and forth between partners. I invite you to see through to the deeper rhythms I’m exploring, beyond the details of who has what body parts.”
    It’s all there in black and white.

  30. chrismazina says:

    There is a lot of truth in this…

  31. Jennifer G says:

    Women and men are not exactly alike, and true feminism is not trying to make that a reality. Men and women do have different needs in a relationship, even though, as the author stated, there are times when roles are reversed. As a general rule, women do have a need to be cherished, while men have a need to be, well, needed. I have been married for 28 years, and have always viewed my husband as “my knight in shining armor.” He expresses his love through service (taking care of me), and I build him up in return, as well as making sure he is well fed. There is no subordinate role in our relationship, and some people would say that I’m the more dominate of the two of us.

    So, no, this is is not a sexist article in any way. It’s recognition, and the sharing of an “aha!’ moment. “I got this” are three of my favorite words, and yes, they are VERY sexy!

  32. TravelingAnn says:

    Lovely. For some reason, it brought tears to my eyes. 🙂

  33. Sandee M. says:

    I just came across your post when a friend of mine shared it on Facebook. I really appreciate the distinction you’re making between man/woman and masculine/feminine energies and how the second is not determined by the first. (Sometimes I think we need different words for the latter altogether because of the baggage it carries, but that’s another topic altogether!) I particularly like this moment: “And sometimes our partners will genuinely want to bear their own burdens, or bear them equally alongside us, or even bear ours for us. I’m painting in broad strokes here.” Roles do switch and change, and it’s empowering to be able to give and receive at different times in the relationship. My fiance is very much an “I got this” kind of guy whose kindness -does- make me feel cared for and cherished, even as he acknowledges and values the fact that I’m more than capable of handling things myself, and that sometimes I need or want to. Thanks for a thoughtful and reflective piece!

  34. Belle says:

    I think the title should just be The 3 Sexiest Words.
    Personally, I wish my husband could say that to me more often. But since he is the breadwinner most of the time, I find myself doing more things for him. When he does things for me, I do cherish it. And I know when I say to him ” I got this”, he is relieved and grateful. All of us love being cherished, taken cared of, loved. Taking turns to say “I got this” is beautiful and nurturing. Thank you for this great essay which does articulate that feeling of loving surrender.

  35. J. Gisele says:

    Reblogged this on J.Gisele and commented:
    Love this.

  36. Kate says:

    Thank you Bryan, you brought tears to my eyes. This hit straight home for me.

  37. Heather says:

    Coming from an extremely independent and self reliant woman, you have beautifully articulated what is lost with extreme feminism. Thank you.

  38. Tom says:

    Simply Awesome is all I can say!

  39. kim says:

    Let me say that I am a VERY self sufficient woman… I have built my own house, worked in male dominated careers all my life, and I am pretty much a tomboy at heart. I am authentic and outspoken (to some). Often men are really confused by me, and dont offer to do things for me because they think i can do it myself or they might offend me. It has been confusing for me because on one hand my “extreme” self sufficiency is a product of our culture and developed because of need, not necessarily wants. (though i am very satisfied to be this way). I have been trying to explain this to men around me… that I just chose to not pull the “damsel in distress card”, but it still doesnt take away my need and want to be in my feminine role. A lot of men I have dated have let me do all the hard work while they sit there with there feet up (literally on my kitchen table!). As I have grown and come into a better awareness of myself I have learned that what is MOST attractive to me in a man, is one who understands the value in my independence and the confidence within his masculinity to take the upper hand and know how to let me surrender (or just rest for that matter!!!). It is very primal, and a very essential ingredient to our sexual beings. I love you article Bryan! Its even better that the person who posted it on their FB is my boyfriend! lol

  40. […] if you read my recent article, The Sexiest 3 Words a Man Can Say to a Woman, you might infer that these are the three sexiest words a woman can say to a man: “You get […]

  41. […] allowing me to take care of her anyway. “I got this.” —This post appeared on ThisWildWakingJourney via: goodmenproject.com 0SHARESFacebookTwitterSubscribe This Woman Walked Around New […]

  42. […] allowing me to take care of her anyway. “I got this.” —This post appeared on ThisWildWakingJourney via: goodmenproject.com happy wheels 2 […]

  43. […] if you read my recent article, The Sexiest 3 Words a Man Can Say to a Woman, you might infer that these are the three sexiest words a woman can say to a man: “You get […]

  44. Dore Hainer says:

    Perfectly said. Well done.

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