Do you ever flirt just to feel better about yourself?
Do you sometimes go on “desperation dates“?
Do you pursue attractions you know won’t end well?
Could you be addicted to hoping someone will complete you?
Do you spend time in the produce section fondling veggies you aren’t buying in the hopes that cute guy (or gal) will notice you?
Are you tired of needing a man/woman to fill that achy hole in your chest?
We often equate our self-worth to the affections & attentions of the sex we’re attracted to. We believe “No Man/Woman = No Worth“
When we believe that, we resort to all kinds of silly, exhausting behavior to relieve that endless angst. We chase, indulge, manipulate, seduce and grasp with needy hands at people we think will make us ultimately feel better about ourselves.
But they never do. They can’t. Not for long, anyway.
My new ebook, “The Sex, Flirting, Dating, Hunting and Hoping Diet” is an invitation to restore your sanity around relationships, sex, romance and love.
I did the 30-Day Diet in 2013
Here are My Confessions
I started a 30-day “woman fast” 7 days ago.
Scoff if you must. “Wow, 30 full days,” you say sarcastically as your eyes roll and your empathy shrivels.
But this is what it means: no dates, no sex, no actual flirting, no making out, no strategic loitering in the yogurt aisle or after yoga class, no offering my phone number or asking for hers, no holding hands, no indulgent hugs or smelling of hair as she walks by, and especially no accepting a woman’s invitation to follow her into her tent to “have a few beers” ……. ok, so I fell off the wagon Saturday night at a little hippie festival in Ojai and followed a lovely woman into her tent to “have a few beers.” No, we didn’t have sex, but I definitely went where I swore 7 days prior I would absolutely not for 30 days go!!
So, gotta reset the clock. I’m committed to 30 days.
Because … READ MORE
Caution: This post contains some graphic content and passionate language. I’m on a complete “woman fast”. I’m rather aroused … but you’re still safe with me. Promise … especially if you made it through Fifty Shades of Grey.
I’m now 16 days into my 30-day woman fast (as the original blog explains, it’s not just about sex. I’m not enough “player” that 30 days would even be meaningful if it were about sex. This is really an exploration into my identity as a man and the deeper truths that may otherwise lay hidden beneath my incessant longing for a woman’s attention).
I know 30 days doesn’t seem like much, but at the beginning I assure you it felt like an eternity!On Day 7, I fell off the wagon and, well, basically landed on top of a very lovely woman. Although nothing got stuck anywhere it wasn’t supposed to get stuck under the rules of my fast, my supportive brothers, Fabian Alsultany and “man-coach” Zat Baraka, held me accountable and insisted I reset the clock … so I did. I’ve been back on the wagon for 16 days.
Here’s some of what’s been arising for me, so to speak … READ MORE
I went dancing a few days ago and quickly found myself surrounded by painfully hot hot hot ladies dressed in … let’s say, enterprising ways … specifically designed to arrest my attention like it was a fugitive from the law. Then today, I ate lunch with 3 beautiful, amazing women.
Did I mention I’m on a 30-day “Woman Fast”??
One of my lovely lunch mates, after learning that I recently fasted from sugar for 30 days, suggested I must enjoy fasting.
Truth is, I don’t like fasting. Not at all.
I do, however, love breaking unhealthy patterns, also known as addictions. … READ MORE
What deeper truth(s) are you denying? What is that likely costing you?
So many of us haven’t been confessing our socially-awkward truths for a long time, around a lot of things, but especially around sexuality. Not to the people around us, and often not even to ourselves. We’re persistently denying deeply-stirring desires, hiding fears and insecurities, and constantly fabricating convenient stories to maintain a safe status quo. Maybe it’s your sexuality you’re consistently repressing in some way. Maybe it’s a job or relationship in which you’re NOT honoring your deeper longings, instead rationalizing to yourself that the tight, constricted feelings you wake up to everyday are a necessary trade off for the security and comfort you think you have.
In so doing, we completely suppress the ancient, natural rhythms within that will ultimately not be denied and might even deliver us into much more fulfilling lives.
I’m not advocating for sexually promiscuity or … READ MORE
I did it.
“What did you do?” you ask.
Why, I completed a 30-day woman fast, of course. Where’ve you been?
“Yeah .. seriously .. what in Eve’s name does that even mean?” you respond, completely perplexed.
Ahhhh … a fair and cleverly articulated question.
As I’ve assured you before – and perhaps this lady doth protest too much – it wasn’t just about sex.
Although I confess, the lizard-brain part of me wishes I WAS having so much sex that a 30-day breather would be refreshing. But I routinely go well over 30 days without sex. I’m more Michael Cera than Michael Bublé.
Actually, these 30 days were simply … READ MORE